Salty Dick The Dockyard Church song lyrics

The preacher in the dockyard church one Sunday morning said,

"Some dirty bastard shit himself - I'll punch his fucking head."

Then up stood Jack in the third row back and he spat a greasy gob:

"I'm the one who shit his fucking self, you can chew my carroty knob!

You can chew my carroty knob!"

Then Jenny Wren got up to sing and she warbled like a thrush.

The preacher in the pulpit said, "I think you're fucking lush."

"That's right," said she, "and I've got a fee - it is thirty bob a time."

Then a bosun in the back stood up, "Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine,

Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine."

The organist came down the aisle with the organ on his back.

The preacher in the pulpit said, "You can march that bastard back."

The organist played Heart of Oak, the choir sang Auld Lang Syne.

Then the preacher in the pulpit said, "You've had your fucking time,

You've had your fucking time!"