Will Varley Talking Cat Blues song lyrics

Last night, when I couldn't sleep

I was scrolling through my news feed

Reading everyones crap and watching viral videos

I was looking at some wedding photographs

Looked at them for an hour and a half

Till I realised they wrote people I didn't know

My girlfriend got up for work

She looked at me like I was dead

She said "Your lazy, you're ruining my life and getting fat"

She said "I know you wanna spend another day in bed, but I need you to take the cat to the ...

And I'm leaving you

And I'm never coming back"

She slam the door and I shouted back

"What's the problem with the cat?"

Well, I got outta bed

emptied the tank

went downstairs in my pants

And the cat was singing at the breakfast bar

Drinkin' my Gin and playin' my guitar

Smokin' my cigars

Wearin' my bras

Singing Kanye West-Songs

He was singing "I'm so great yes it's true,

I'm so great and I'm better than you and I am essentially a god"

Well, the video of the cat

I put it on Youtube

Within half an hour it had million views

I called it "Seven things that cats can do that really will blow your mind"

Well, ... about then the telephone rang

It doesn't ring for long so I ran

But I tripped up on an empty bottle of gin.

I grazed my knees tumblin' down

Smashed my head on the ground

With the last little energy in my bones

Reached out to pick up the phone

And a voice on the other line said

"Have you had a triple four in the last six months, that wasn't your foe?"

I said "Yes, Yes I have"

And I said "My girlfriend's just left me, and you wanna go to burger king wth me some time?"

She hung up

Well, the telephone rang for a second time and a man's voice on the other line said

"I've seen your cat. I gonna make him a star.

He needs a haircut and some singing lessons, so he does a great Kanye West impression, I can put the song on an advert and sellin' a car"

Well, we made a lot of money and we had no fair.

One point we like sunny and Cher, but that cat hooked on [...] and milk.