Dumbfoundead Hollyhoodrats song lyrics

First of all, I go to Dr. Dorfman.

He totally messes up my nose job

I ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow

I get off the surgery table looking like freakin' Shrek!

Oooh, she came to L.A. with big dreams

Bright lights, and big screens

She wanted us to buy some mixed drinks

The bitch thinks not a drop of her shit stinks

What would you do for a role on a hit show?

Go on the strip pole?

Let both of your tits show?

I got a cousin up at HBO

I'll give you his name and number for felatio

It was all a dream, flipping through people's magazine

Critiquing celebrities and their inadequacies

She puffs a cigarette for lunch, and then goes tanning at 3

She's getting acting jobs sleeping with her manager Steve

She goes to auditions hoping that she really gets that spot

But she doesn't so she drowns her sorrows in wheat grass shots

Goes to motivational seminars, and bars with big name stars

Using her daddy's credit card, thinking she's living large

Reality is she ain't got a quarter to her name

Just an eating disorder, you should just forfeit out the game

Girl, give up your acting career and go back to your parent's house

Or put out a few sex tapes that nobody will hear about

Oooh, she came to L.A. with big dreams

Bright lights, and big screens

She wanted us to buy some mixed drinks

The bitch thinks not a drop of her shit stinks

What would you do to walk on the red carpet?

Jerk off the security guard that guards it?

She came to C.A. to be made, but ended up in a 3-way just to get a job as a P.A

Celebrety fashion she's steadily trying to duplicate

Dressin' like a Hilton but she's staying at the super-rate

Cheap boob job, got the sides of 'em ripplin'

You can see multiple scalpel wounds in her nipple skin

She be trippin' when she don't get the part

But it isn't in her art to be knowing the art

She never acted in her life she was hoping to start from the top

"Fuck drama class, mama says I've got Pizzaz!"

And the "It" factor, but reality's a bitch and the shit smacked her dead in her face

You'll never be chased by paparazzi honey

And I ain't got a dime on your kamikaze money

Oooh, she came to L.A. with big dreams

Bright lights, and big screens

She wanted us to buy some mixed drinks

The bitch thinks not a drop of her shit stinks

What would you do for a part in a movie?

Swallow a roofie? Offer a (?)

My uncle casted all of Spielberg's hits

I'll give you his card if you let me feel your tits

Yogurt and yoga mats, who you foolin' with all of that?

The pilot's been cancelled, the casting agent ain't calling back

She's reading "The Secret" hoping to be in the dealers

Cruising the streets in her Prius

Thinking that she's an elitest

A member of P.E.T.A, but she rocking that leather and cheeta

She's a 3 on the meter but she thinks that she is a diva

Drinking only bottled water that she can't even pronounce

Hoping to be followed by paparazzi leaving her house

Dreaming 'bout getting eaten out by a celebrity with some (?) Brad Pitt dick deep in her mouth

She's thinking if it ever happens and her needle gets out

Poke a hole in the condom, hoping semen comes out

Cause maybe if she had that other mouth to feed in her house

Maybe he'd be her spouse. She'd be the Angelena Jolie of "two thousand-whatever year that took place in"

You ain't clever dear, you've just got a good imagination