Bette Midler Those Wonderful Sophie Tucker Jokes song lyrics

I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph",(he always called me Soph), he said to me "Soph, these woods sure are dark I sure wish I had a flash light", I said to him "so do I Ernie. You have been munching grass for the last ten minutes."

I will never forget it. It was on the occasion of Ernie's eightieth birthday and in honor of the occasion he married a twenty year old girl. And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me "Soph, Soph, I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that". And I said to him "Ernie when I am eighty years old I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy, and let me tell you something Ernie twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more than eighty goes into twenty."

I was in bed last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph, you got no tits and a tight box". I said to him "Ernie get off my back."